happening around here

School: Week 1

"I love School. I'm having fun and I've got friends. My friends' names are Mercy, Tiffany, Sana and Tyler. I like playtime."

There you have it - the official word!!!!!

PS. I've changed the settings so that you don't have to join up to make a comment - so feel free :)

Good for the Garden

Yesterday we finally planted a whole lot of plants and shrubs in our front garden bed. It has been waiting all year for attention. The soil is nothing more than clay, so Paddy watered it carefully last night after he had finished. We were going to water it again this morning, but it was raining, and since then it has been raining lightly on and off all day. We keep saying "isn't this good for the garden," just like I remember my mum saying when I was a kid!

I didn't understand it at the time. I had no idea how much work having a garden can take, how much moisture it requires, and what a treasure it is when the rain does the watering for you. But even more than that, I had no idea that gentle rain over a long period of time is exactly what a garden needs. I never could have imagined how good that "good for the garden" rain really was. Until now. Now when I watch the rain falling on what would otherwise be dry, cakey clay, I smile. It makes me think about how precious water is, and how vital it is to life. Those plants will not survive without it, even though we've planted them in with fertiliser and garden mix. It is water that makes it all happen.

It got me thinking.... what is the water in my life, metaphorically speaking? What is the one thing that I can't live without? And am I getting enough of it?

ps. I took some poetic licence with the picture... that's our back garden - the vegie patch :)

Empty Nest Syndrome Here

I've been Homeschooling ella since March. Homeschooling wasn't something I ever planned or even imagined I'd end up doing. In fact, I once said quite emphatically to a friend that I could never do it. But a year ago it came into my brain almost from out of nowhere, and I couldn't get rid of it. And the more I thought about it, and the more I read about it, the more I liked the idea. We talked a lot about it, and ended up deciding to give it a go. Kids don't have to be enrolled in school until they are six, so you kind of get a "free hit" before you have to apply to the Ministry for exemption from school. We thought we'd give the year a go, and then decide before she turned six what we'd do from there.

I was captured by a dream - of a family life where time together is not ruled by school hours, where holidays can be taken whenever, where learning happens organically - with the world as its resource room - the museum, the library, the zoo, the bush, the internet, family and friends, and all the good fun and exploring that happens when you hang out at home. But mostly I loved the idea of learning alongside her, and exploring the world together. And for 8 months that has been our life, more or less. Homeschooling was pretty much everything I hoped it would be. Basically, it made me happy. As cheesy as this sounds, it made me the mother I'd always wanted to be. And as far as ella was concerned, homeschooling was great. She was happy to learn with me, and would tell everyone from the dairy shop-keeper to the lady at the library that we were homeschooling. She loved the homeschooling classes we did, and the other families we met. And she got to do plenty of playing.

Then two weeks ago I decided we should start talking about next year. I thought I already knew what I wanted to do - continue homeschooling. But I found myself saying that we should be open minded in our decision, and look at some schools other than the ones we had looked at originally. And from there I found that suddenly I couldn't get school out of my head. Just as homeschooling had come from out of nowhere, suddenly School was doing the same thing. I found myself talking to ella about the idea of going to school, and although at first she said she wanted to keep homeschooling, pretty quickly she got quite excited about the idea of school. And I realised that if ella went to school, I would suddenly have the opportunity to have time alone. And I knew just what I would do with that time.

So Isobella is starting school on Monday. She is more than excited. As far as she is concerned, Monday can't come soon enough. I'm happy for her. But I'm also in complete shock at what I've done, and how quickly it has happened. I've cried a lot. You see, I think there are two women inside of me. One of them would be quite happy to be surrounded by her chaotic brood all day. The other one, the quiet one who doesn't ask for much, is craving an empty house. Right now I'm torn between them both, and wishing I could make them both happy at the same time. Maybe I can?

My Dream is to Wake Up

My dream is to wake up with nobody else in the house
except me
and the light switches which go on and off at my bidding
and the toaster which toasts when I need it to, for my delight
and does not require keeping quiet while it sleeps
or feeding it, or taking it to the toilet.
None of these things are required by nobody else.

If there is nobody else in the house
I can have a bath, run it and get into it without any lifting,
without the taking off of clothes, other than my own, which I do without thinking
and I can sit there without washing anybody’s feet, other than my own
which is, exactly, a pleasure.
And when I get out of the bath, with nobody else in the house,
I find that the blinds do not talk back to me when I open and shut them
Indeed,
They sit at exactly the precise angle I require of them, without complaining!
And the table too, supports my cup and these hands all on its own,
The very task I require of it, without any murmur it all.
I don’t even have to ask.

Oh the joy of a house inhabited by nobody else,
An empty house, just me and the things I need,
Things that in this moment exist only for me.

Whole worlds could exist, whole other lives could be begun and carried out completely
Here, in all this space, with so much time
And oh the quiet – can you hear it?

Introducing my First Guest Post - Isobella - "My Things"

These are pictures of my things. The first one is a picture of my dog Rosie and all her puppies. She has 8 puppies. The second photo is me on my bed. Beside me is a poster with a iguana on it. The third photo is a picture of the poster. It is a reptile. I got it from Auckland Zoo. I took the photos but I didn't take the photo with me on my bed. My bed is soft like my baby blankie I had when I was a baby.

Another Guest: Chanelling Abigail

Things are good at the moment, I think it's fair to say. I'm generally "up" these days. Sometimes the people here get busy and the service is slow, but I can work with that. I've got some good things going on so I'm fairly busy myself. Everyone knows I'm good for a laugh. My crew like to call me "Abigiggle" and I'm down with that. It represents me pretty well. I've got a couple of good spots where if you get it right, I'm in hysterics. The people seem to think that's hilarious, so it's laughs all round over here sometimes.

I do talk a fair bit as well, as you may know. You might think I like the sound of my own voice. I get quite a range out of it, you could say I'm experimental. It's something I do spend quite a lot of time on. And content's not an issue, with everything I've got going on at the moment. Take these two front teeth, just popping through. I'm very happy with how they are coming along. Nicely placed, small but sharp. It's partly because of them I had a word to mum about what she was feeding me. I mean, the breast milk is great and everything but I was ready for the hard stuff. Finally mum got the message and started putting baby rice on the menu. I'm happy about that. One of the best times of the day as far as I'm concerned is when I can see a spoon in front of me. It's not surprising though, with all the work I do. I'm really trying to bulk up at the moment.

I did try to get mum to do milk in the bottle, we had a go and I thought the results were impressive, but Mum's old school. I'd love the independence, honestly. I could grab a bottle and head out the door when I'm off to training, great. In truth, I think mum's finding it hard to individuate. She doesn't seem to do much without me. But you get with your mother as trainer. At some point i might start looking around to see who else is out there, but for now she's doing a pretty good job.

Here I am

After a year of being an almost-addicted blog reader I have decided it is time for one of my own. This is a big thing for me. I said to myself once I would never write a blog. But last week the face book peer pressure got to me, and I found myself sitting in Joy's kitchen seconds away from signing up. It's so easy to keep up with people, then you can see everyone's photos, etc etc. But i looked around on Joy's page and got palpatations. On my way to a panic attack, you could say. I couldn't do it! What is it about the internet that brings out the recluse in me? You tell me... I drove home thinking it all over. By the time I drove up our driveway I had decided to start a blog. A week ago tomorrow. And here I am.

If you are reading this now it is because I sent you a personal email and invited you to. You are either a dear friend or sister who would love me to be on facebook, or a dear friend or sister or (insert family member) who would love to catch up more often... or who i would love to hear from more often... or who has figured out I am an erratic emailer... or who is waiting for me to pick up the phone and ring them... or .... (insert situation of your choosing.)

I don't like thinking this is going to more than one person. I am thinking of you all individually as I write this. I won't be proof-reading this more than once. I may completely regret it in the morning. But I am clicking on "publish." Please come back... say hi.... and forgive me for forsaking facebook. I'm still on the planet. !!