This shows you how happy a girl can be on the day of the performance of her school show. Don't you remember? Eating dinner early, jumping in the car in the new evening light of spring, being hustled into a room full of other children just as excited as you are. The air so thick with expectation you could stick your tongue out and taste it. Just look at her.
The funny thing is that I'm here at home writing this, while she is right now on stage in her moment of glory. Up until this morning I was the one going, and Paddy staying, because all week he has been the sickest of all of us, but today we were neck and neck, he slightly better, me worse. Isobella fervently prayed last night that Dad would be well enough to go to the show, and this afternoon when I told her he was, she was over the moon. Wasn't bothered much when I told her that that meant I was too sick to go. I love how she loves her Dad.
Anyway, he is there sitting in the school hall now, Greer beside him, video camera in hand, capturing the moment. But I'm capturing the moment too.
I'm weary and sick of being sick. I don't need to say how exhausting it is when everyone gets sick at the same time, because you know. We've had a week of it. I didn't even know the date until yesterday.
I'm getting picture updates from the show on my phone, and it's wrapping up now with a haka, the whole crew. I can see in the mass of faces up on stage that they are overjoyed. Rugby makes these kids happy, especially at the moment. They love their haka, and they love their country.
I can't think of a better image that expresses the heart of a kiwi than a bunch of kids up on stage doing a haka as their grand finale, and reveling in it.
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I love your writing SO much. You have amazing insight into the everyday - but life-changing - moments we experiecne as women and parents.
ReplyDeleteShe is so beautiful. I wish I could see her show. I wish I could even imagine what it must look like and sound like.
ReplyDeleteI love how you capture the moment. The way we are torn between wanting to go and letting go. Yearning and contentment. The tension and the relief. So sweet how she loves her dad. So bittersweet how you miss it... and yet at least you get the pictures. Isn't technology wonderful?
Melanie, thank-you. Yes you have described that moment perfectly. It is so much about the wanting and the letting go.... I wrote to a friend just the other week, "What a mixed up thing this mothering business is, all this holding tight and letting go, all in the same sentence, the same kiss." You said the same thing, in almost the same words. Funny. And yes, technology, amazing. If I remember right, you would have really appreciated it this weekend :)
ReplyDeleteLizzie - thank you my friend! if that's what these words do for you , then I am a very happy woman.